DOGS THAT ATE BEES i’m cryign
UH YOU FORGOT THE BEST ONE???
seen a few of these going around so i thought id make my own
I have a story.
So my sister got run over by a car once. It was a pretty big deal. Well like a year later she got into a little fender bender and was really bent out of shape about it, so I went and got her a cake.
When I put in my order for the cake, the guy at the bakery asked, “Do you want it to say anything?”
And with a perfectly straight face, I said, “‘Sorry you got hit by a car again.’”
He narrowed his eyes a moment, then nodded and wrote it down, and took it to kitchen to get the writing done.
All the way from the back of the kitchen, I hear a woman shout, “‘Again’?!”
Human: “HAHAHA Animals are so dumb!”
*goes to war with its own species, uses up all of its resources, destroys its own environment, pollutes its own air and water*
Animal: *licks its own asshole*
human: *licks someone else’s asshole and calls it sex*
I have no doubt humans would lick their own ass if they could reach it.
- Tyler the Creator (via scarfacebeee)
“How was your day?”
“Text me when you get home so I know you’re safe”
“How are you?”
“I hope you’re feeling better”
“Have a good day today!”
“I miss you”
“Can you come over?”
“Can I come over?”
“Can I see you?”
“Can I call you?”
“Want something to drink?”
“Watch your step”
“Let’s watch a movie”
“What are you up to?”
“How is your day so far?”
“It will be okay”
“I’m here for you”
“Do you need anything?”
“Are you hungry?”
“I just wanted to hear your voice”
“You just made my day”
You don’t have to hear “I Love You” to know that someone does. Listen carefully. People speak from the heart more often than you think."
- (via bl-ossomed)
^^^^^HOW PRIVILEGE WORKS.
YES THIS IS EXACTLY IT.
Orlando, who was dining with Leonardo DiCaprio at the Cipriani restaurant on Wednesday night, was very, very angry, when Justin, who didn’t have a reservation at the eatery, approached their table to try to talk to the actors.
DiCaprio had proceeded to shoo away the pop singer with his hand, leading Bieber to provoke a fight which saw Bloom jump over a sofa to get at the 20-year-old Baby singer at the restaurant."
(x) this just keeps getting better
dicaprio had proceeded to shoo away the pop singer with his hand
god, bieber is such a prick